The Big Black Quiet

After it all ends, what is left?

So, my first novel is published. Self-published that is and on Kindle at that. After years of plotting, drafting and (re-)writing my epic young adult fantasy novel is out there...

...among thousands of others. Lost among the white noise. Unnoticed by all, but family and friends. I sold exactly one copy and got perhaps a few hundred Likes on my promotional Facebook page (for which I paid $65). Where is the release party? The interviews? The press releases and the bestseller nod? One month after my ego manifested itself online and my creativity up for sale, there is only a big, black quiet.

Let's put things into perspective. It's not death. Death is the end of a living being - surely not comparable to the mere release of one's creative endeavor? It's not that bad, and in fact I don't experience it as such, either. I'm having fun advertising my book. But it's not easy...

Any author/(self-)publisher will tell you it takes a lot of time and effort to advertise your work once its finished, getting the word out, making some noise and knocking on doors. Admittedly there are a lot of supportive websites that will gladly promote your ebook for free (as long as your book is for free) or have amateur reviewers read your book and post their opinions in blogs and articles. Then there's Twitter and Facebook. Tweet about your book. Build connections with first adopters, who actively are looking for new authors and new stories. Reward new readers with free give-aways, quizzes and Likes on their pages. There is quite frankly a ton of venues to sell your story.

When you don't have a fan base, you need to make connections.

Connection

 by MistoAcrilico

And so that's what I've been doing. On Facebook and Twitter I've been showing off present artwork in the book as well as sneak previews of artwork yet to come. I've run a single Facebook Ad campaign to test the waters and it's quite frankly a lot of fun to do it at first. 

But I'm not committed to accessing all channels of advertisement just yet. After all, the trailer version of the book - now available at Amazon :) - still has its fair share of grammar errors and temporary artwork. I'm drawing the official artwork as we speak and one of my three editors is already finished with checking the manuscript. So when I'm confident that the edition I release is proofed and complete, I will throw myself fully at the advertisement machine and give it its best shot. 

And to keep me really happy in the meantime? Start writing the sequel. That after all is the best way of getting picked up by a publisher/agent: proof that your not just a one-book wonder.

Off the Rail

Day 5 of the Writing Marathon
I'm tired. My eyeballs are bleeding, my beard is strangling me and my ass feels like ground beef. This writing stuff is hard. For those, who just tuned in: I'm in draft 4 of Aelemental Book 1: The Tree of Life, a young adult novel about finding oneself in this modern world of environmental, political and social upheaval. Oh, and it combines all fantasy subgenres and connects them in a logical and very original way.

But like I said... I'm tired. No, make that exhausted and I still have a ways to go.
My day so far:

• 6:00 Woke up to the chimes of my iPhone. Can anyone hate chimes more than I do now?
• 7:00 Kid is off to school. I crawl back in bed.
• 10:30 After a breakfast of champions (toast with PBJ/Nutella and some Chai tea with soymilk and honey) I groan. My old nemesis: the computer. I switch the beast on and position my protesting posterior onto the creaky seat. Was that seat always red or is it slowly draining my life fluids?
• 3:00 Man alive! Did I just work for 4 and a half hours straight? No wonder my knuckles feel like old wooden logs grinding the splinters off of each other. Breakfast of champions indeed! Time for lunch.
• 3:09 One super mango/banana smoothie with cinnamon later and I'm back in the seat.
• 3:35 Kid comes home. Needs some wrestling. We wrestle. He wins from his old man. Sweet, I've had my exercise for the day. If only I could put in some meditation time, but I'm not mindful enough to remember. I know there's a joke in there somewhere.
• 4:00 Finished Chapter 8: Simon and the Grim Council. Kind of proud of this particular chapter and not just because Nancy wrote the most number of 'Nice!'-s in the margins of the whole of draft 3 either. Thins just gel in this chapter. Simon is arrested and brought before the fairy tale council. Lots of drama and melodrama (which I excel at according to my wife) and some cool epic displays of over the top fantasy dialogue, decor and characters. Let's just say: this is not the Snow White you grew up with.
• 6:00 So tired. Writing this blog now, cuz I'm not sure I'll be back until tomorrow morning. Then again, I'll be shopping for Captain Underpants with Alex tomorrow (as promised), so maybe I should make the most of what time I have left tonight. We'll see. First dinner...

Here's some inspirational art I used from diTerlizzi to give me some ideas for the Council of Aelders, who pass sentence on poor Simon:

Planescape, art by Tony diTerlizzi -
I wanted a police force made up of red caped females.
Can you guess what fairy tale  character may be part of them?

Planescape, art by Tony diTerlizzi
The Council aides ended up being decisively non-human and
more in tune with which Aelder they served.

Planescape, art by Tony diTerlizzi
The Council of Aelders consist of the 5 most famous fairy tale characters,
the only snag? You have never before seen them like this.

Planescape, art by Tony diTerlizzi
The Verdant Sentinels are the woodsmen of the sotry: they patrol the forest perimeters
 and make sure humans don't discover the secret Domain.

• 11:00 Okay, so I'm back and did an extra few pages. Now time for bed.

About Suffering Artists, Story Balance and Flow
It's probably good that I'm tired - suffering artist burning the midnight oil and all that (okay it's only 11pm, but hey! I'm a parent for heaven's sake, I'm supposed to be in bed by 10!)  The tiredness allows me inside the skin of Simon. I'm actually writing a new chapter, that collects bits and pieces of when Simon has meltdowns. Like I said at one point (or maybe not, I can't remember) draft 4 is about making the story flow and keep it balanced. The emotions, action and information in draft 3 was too haphazard and it seemed random and not natural at all. Besides, Simon was angry all the time in the first 10 chapters and it's hard to sympathize with the lead character when he's barking at everybody all the time. So, I decided to tone it down, make him more sympathetic (aka bland) at the beginning, shell-shocked as his life is turned upside down (aka victim) and now tired, frustrated and angry as there are too many questions unanswered and he feels locked down by Fate (aka 3D). Which is really what he is being under house arrest in the fairy tale city. And what I am. Am I? No wait, that's the melodrama playing up again...

Au revoir.

Speeding Up

TING! Day 2 of the Great Redrafting Marathon. Things are going great. It was a slow start yesterday, but things are picking up today. Tomorrow promises to be even better. Why? Well, first of all I'm getting the hang of writing again. Just like riding a bike. Also, I get to leave all my research, notes and other helpful things around my work space instead of tidying them up, because I have to focus on other tasks. So that makes diving into it easier in the morning. And then finally: today is Alex's last day at home, before school reopens. So no more homework, chores or other distractions. Sorry kiddo, but Papa needs to write the next Great Novel.

This is what I did today:

• 6:45 Woke up earlier than yesterday. Woohoo. Bonus! Felt so jazzed, I even allowed myself to tweet about it.
• 7:50 Ready to get crackin'. Sat behind my computer.
• 9:00 Time I really started working. Damn you Internet and damn that browbassing.
• 11:00 Hit the gym, ran for 45 minutes. Then lunch with Alex - miso soup and Vegemite on bread for me, PBJ sammie for him. I know what you're thinking.
• 12:25 Homework time with my son. Took a little longer this time, but oh well - it's the last time.
• 1:30 Shower. (Crap, I realize writing this I forgot to meditate - and now you know why I have to meditate, sheesh!)
• 1:45 Back to writing. 
• 2:30 Quick run to the kitchen to get a big glass of green tea & lemonade (what am I doing to my intestines?)
• 6:00 Finished Chapter 5: The Candy Crumb Trail: but is it really the 'old' chapters 5, 6 and 7 which I combined into 1 longer one? Or does it still only count as one, because they were so small? I dunno, but I gotta quit to cook dinner. More rice, this time with paprika and zuchini. Probably the most normal thing I eat today, what is up with that?
• 7:00 Kid goes to bed after watching Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents.
• 7:30 Post the kids homework online and back to work. Tough chapters ahead with lots of cut and pasting. Watched a little Daily Show and then at 8:00 to work.
• 10:30 Time to quit. I tired. I cuddle my pillow in absence of Nancy.

I'll leave you with more Aelemental art:

After Usagi Yoyimbo artist Stan Skai. Still looking for the right style to do the chapter illustrations.

Bonsoir!

Bullet To The Brain

Time to get straight to the point. After spending too much time looking for IT work, playing host to visitors, swimming in the Maldives (what now?) and being a nurse to my sick wife I now dedicate this week to some serious marathon writing. 7 days of non-stop revision. The fourth and final draft of Aelemental - Book 1: The Tree of Life.

This is what I did today:

• 8:15 Woke up. Crap. Already slept too long.
• 9:00 After oatmeal, groceries at empty supermarket (due to Bangkok floods) I ignore the sweat and get cracking.
• 11:15 Finished Chapter 3: The Boy and the Monkey. I exercise (weights) for 20 minutes.
• 11:45 Lunch with my 6yr old Alex - smoothie for me, PBJ sammie for him. It's tradition.
• 12:15 Alex is still having 'Snow Days' (the warmer watery variety) so we do his homework toegther.
• 1:00 Shower (it was due) and meditation (good for focus and concentration).
• 1:30 Back to writing. 
• 2:30 Coffee break: hazulnut latte and banana cake from corner shop Bicarro Coffee (good for everything)
• 5:45 Still in Chapter 4, but need to cook dinner (Nancy left yesterday for week long USA work trip). Rice with Edamame and Red Snapper. Kid loves it for some obscure reason. Might have to investigate.
• 7:00 Put kid to bed after reading some Captain Underpants (...it's the circle of nerd....)
• 7:30 Quick blog updates (this - duh and Snaxtons <- shameless plug)
• 9:30 Time I plan on stopping writing, watch some Conan/Daily Show and hit the sack. I'll tell you if I succeed in that tomorrow.

I'll leave you with some Aelemental art.

Experimenting with chapter illustrations.

Ciao!

A More Solid Approach

I'm forty today and still learning. 'Yay!' for both. One of the recent things I've learned is that I cannot split up my day in too many activities. I guess that's sound advice for any length of time, but I'll stick with a working day for now. I've never been very good at multitasking or switching quickly between tasks, probably because I've been a designer for so long and a perfectionist at that. You see, for me every activity needs a certain start-up time before I get into the 'Zone'. Maybe this is true for everyone, but having been a precise and technical oriented worker for many years of my life it takes me that much longer to reach that special place where the magic occurs. So you understand that working in a cubicle in an office or at a convention/fair/street corner is like torture to my inner Muse.

These last two weeks I've tried my hand at writing a couple of hours early in the morning after I put my son on his school bus and I commit to finding an IT job. This doesn't work. I ended up spending way too much time setting up my computer and notes, finding the right mood, backtracking what I had written before, etc. So maybe dedicating every day of the week to one task in and by itself will save me from all the 'overhead'. Whether its writing Aelemental or looking for IT work or developing any other one of thousands of great ideas that run through my head (for which I need meditation and exercise to bring them down a notch or two). It doesn't matter. I can still squeeze in those last two activities and some chores around the house of course - I do need to get away from the computer now and then after all - but no longer will I split up my time trying to do it all. So starting this week (and my newest decade in life) I will do one thing at a time and do it well.

SPOILER ALERT

So what did I write? I've wrapped up the first few chapters of Aelemental, balancing out emotional character development and action (nicely reflecting my new 'one thing at a time' philosophy) and I'm no longer counting words or pages. I am now master of my own online publishing after all. As I'm very visual I'll share some of my visual notes with you, the first relating to the major scene in the prologue, where 70 years ago Simon's grandfather Mick is a young boy who struggles to escape from a deathtrap ruin in the Amazon rain forest. His uncle, an archaeologist from Australia, inadvertently set off a chain reaction within a mysterious old temple. This was something I had to draw out to be able to describe. Below are the 'plans'. Enjoy and I'll be back next week with more.

No Shortcuts, Only Extensions

This is a blog from last week, that I never got to finish, but I'd figured its still relevant and allows me to get on with writing today.

There are no shortcuts in life. Period. I cannot magically produce a good novel even if I employ every trick in the book. Just as much as one cannot achieve lasting happiness through other people, money, gluttony or abstinence or reading The Secret. And I cannot reach the river from soi 13 other than backtracking through dead-end streets until I gain access to another soi.

The longer I employ my skills in the area's of webdesign, DTP and creative design the more I find that I need to continuously hone my skills in order to keep up with the next technological advancement in these digital arts. Likewise I find that self-publishing my own creations (whether its work or my creative projects like 'The Tree of Life' and 'Sesame Trail' maps) is not just a matter of finding the magic contact within the publishing community (as we recently found out). Everything is work. Long hard dedicated work. Ten thousand hours of work a friend of mine said recently. Its not a bad thing, but there is a methodology to it. A way of maintaining checks and balances so one doesn't turn into a workaholic who neglects social, mental and physical health and mistakes quantity for quality. Finding the right focus is the real challenge, rather than throwing endless hours of dedication at any project.

I struggle with this continuously when I write as I see day after day slipping away while the chapters only gradually roll out. I have so many details packed into the story it resembles neurosurgery dissecting chapters and piecing them back together again in the hopes of getting a more streamlined story. The challenge is to accept fate (writing is time consuming) and absorb the initial 'Fight or Flee' impulse so I can move on. But every morning after my exercise and sending Alex off to school its a struggle to face the mountain of work before me, the ten months without paid work behind me and the uncertainty if what I'm doing is actually worth anything.

As I walked down soi 13 this morning I found that like many street explorations I could not go reach the other side of the road. Stuck between scholarly soi 15 and seedy soi 11, the street struggles with its identity. The result? Inhabitants at the end of the street have effectively blocked off through traffic to either streets and to the river walkway at the end. It's almost cultural protectionism that makes it impossible to enjoy the soi and they intend to keep it like that. I was followed by a housing complex guard who kept saying 'no, no, no' when I wanted to use the padlocked gate to exit the street onto soi 15. Another 'no, no' when I wanted to climb the glass-ridged wall to get to a parking lot that would ensure my escape.

Essentially he wanted me to walk back down the soi and find a legal (traffic-stuffed and sidewalk missing) branch that would lead me back to freedom. But I'm Dutch. Recalcitrant, rebellious. I refused to give in and instead slipped through a wall to an abandoned building site that kept the street from ending on the river, walked along shacks where a poor Thai family washing their baby was friendly enough to let me through their little door. Okay, so there was a shortcut. But it's not a shortcut available for everyone and I still had to work for it. Maybe it took a little courage, a little linguistic struggle, a few receptive smiles and a lot of determination.

So I see it with writing. The true work comes from research, learning and plain old improvisation that is often needed to create something new. Innovation is hard work. Quality over quantity. I hope to innovate the young adult reader market with a story that has never been told before. So many elements in the story are novel to the classic storytelling genre and for a first time writer like myself especially daunting. But its the excitement of exploration that makes it worthwhile. It's a great experiment and a lot of dedicated hours and if it even never gets published I will still have had a blast designing it. I just hope I get to share it with the world. It will take a lot of courage, smiling and determination, but I hope to convince the established order that there truly is a shortcut to success if they are willing to open one up.

P.S You might have noticed that I extended the deadline from Oct 2010 to Jan 2011. What can I say? We need to be flexible in these days of visitations, priorities, browsing and procrastinations.

And The Legs Too!

New beginnings all round. It's been a while, but I've finally taken up exercising. Our elliptical broke down a couple of months ago and the store that sold us the exercise machine was located in CentralWorld (which as you may know was torched by protesters in the May riots in Bangkok). I had for some time wanting to explore my direct neighborhood in Bangkok, but never found the time/incentive to do so. Part of it was guilt, because I had no job and Nancy was on my case about it, part of it just simple timing. But now I thought, I could hit two birds with one stone (hitting being somewhat less extreme than killing). I could walk outside for half an hour to an hour, kickstarting my metabolism right after breakfast, while exploring soi's (Thai streets) parallel to ours. We live somewhat in the middle of the Sukhumvit area, so I decided to start exploring the streets from 23 down to 1 first and then from 39 upwards (the idea that I know 23-39 like the back of my hand).

So while Simon may be stuck in a fairy tale city, I felt no such restrictions. I pulled on my yellow sneakers and just started walking after swallowing the last of my Vegemite toast and green tea. Today I explored the University District. Soi 19 has a quaint Thai university with waterways, pagodas and parks. It was a little touch and go whether I'd find my way out of the campus again as Bangkok has the annoying trait that anyone can build anything on their property even if it means blocking through-traffic. So there are hundreds of streets that simply run into a dead end, making it impossible to go from A to B other than by a handful of routes. Double backing is typical if you don't plan your journey beforehand with a map. Even then the map said I could turn onto another street, while in reality I ran into a closed gate.

It was fun though, weaving around street stalls serving hot foods from the grill, swimming up against a tide of hundreds of uniformed students and passing innovatory named massage parlors like Peep Inn and VIP Teen Love (massages by the Thai iCarly?) Once I crossed the khlong (canal behind our house) and returned home I was properly creatively rejuvenated and ready to write some Simon. Getting out of the house does that. Experiencing life away from the digital reality is much more rewarding and get my Muses all riled up. And it makes sense. Where else can you find better descriptions for smells, sights, sounds and feelings than int he real world? And it makes no difference really that I'm in Bangkok writing about a boy in Germany who will travel to Latin America with fantastical friends fighting supernatural villains. All writing in my experience has autobiographical elements in it.

So today when I revise the passage of Simon, Alix, Maya, Karl and Sesame traipsing through the forest fairy tale city of FabelInsel, he might just have to wade through clouds of street cooking, tides of fairy tale creatures and places like 'The Three Pigs Construction Co.' and 'Sleeping Beauty Inn'. Waittaminute...I already did that :)

Real Time, Real Places, Real Me

Top of the Morning to ya,

Writing this blog is a good exercise I've decided. It is like a mirror that reflects back to me who I am and what I'm doing. More often than not I feel I need a little readjustment in the way I do things. I don't think I'm overly critical, but maybe I do have the tendency to examine where I am today in life. Don't we all at one point or another? Is this blog reflecting the real writer in me? Or is it just another ego-trip of which I think all blogs are suspect of? Is this just the new generation's way of saying: I need therapy, but I'm too cheap/self-aware/egotistic to get professional help? I like to think about these things every now and then to test myself. How else am I going to examine the packaging so to speak of the box by being on the inside of it?

So what is my conclusion thus far? I think I'm too preachy, maybe talking in too many general statements than actually saying anything about what I really am up to writing this book series. Trying too hard to examine top-down the great art of writing instead of bottom-up handling the issue of the day. What do you think? Should I give up my siren's call to become a writer and become a priest instead? That wouldn't work, cuz they work with simple examples and personal situations too. Maybe a politician? They speak in general broad statements. Nah, too many mind games and actual politics. I'm, way too sensitive - and still have that issue with abuse of authority.

I think I'll leave the examination for what it is for now - even if it's just to get away from the self aimed microscope and actually do some 'being me'.

These are the things that are happening around me now: I'm starting to have dreams about the very things I'm writing about. Weird mash-ups of fantastical fictive events mixed in with actual friends and situations. Maybe I'm getting too involved with the material. I am reading Joseph Cambell's 'Hero with the Thousand Faces' at the moment as well as the Hellboy trade paperbacks, so there is a lot of heavy epic and mythical stuff going on there. To top it off I went to see 'Solomon Kane' last night and boy was that ever the heavily psychadelic type of action adventure flick. I have more books I'm reading all over the house: 'God is not Great', 'Empowered', '2012: The Return of Quetzacotl', 'Smoke and Mirrors' and 'Fairy Tails' - so influences galore.

I'm struggling with getting a regular diet & exercise. I find I'm sacrificing mindfulness on what I eat and how much I exercise (including meditation, which lays the very foundation for mindfulness) in order to spend more time writing. So this is leading to weight issues (currently an unhealthy 200 lbs/93 kg) for a 5'11''/1,79m tall guy. I know, I know, I'm also almost 40 yrs, so I shouldn't be too upset, but still: I'd still like to be able to climb 4 flights of stairs from the kitchen to my writing room without breathing heavily. I mean, I'm not sacrificing time watching movies or TV-shows at night.

So that's just a little about my life right now. The fictional life of Simon & Sally (there, I've given you the names of our heroes) continues on in chapter 19, where they are now in Mexico City. They are trying to stay out of the clutches of a corporate villain, while also having to find a magical portal that will transport them south to an endangered fairy tale city. Like I stated before, the heroes and their friends are split up all over the place trying to find each other again and I've included a map just to give you a visual.

All right, I'm off writing again, but that depends on the Internet, as I need to do the necessary research while writing and our Internet connection is spotty this week.