City of Anger

Raaaaagh!

That's right. I am angry. After yesterday's doubt and former depression I now seethe with rage. Can I be even more bi-polar? Why am I angry? Does it matter? I really don't even know. I lack the insight I should be training myself to have through meditation. Instead I just let myself sink in the swamp of unbridled anger. Very appropriately the city of Bangkok is fanning the flames of tempered rage, however hypocritical that is (protesters get paid by the hour to march in a parade - what a capitalistic farce).

I guess sometimes I feel great injustice done by society, the government, work and the stupid people it employs. Seriously, there is much to be angry about. Internet censorship in Thailand, corrupt police and politicians, although I really don't even care about that anymore - it's a parody of life and undeserving of respect. American Red Cross? I'm contracted not to say anything bad about them. Fuck them. They change contracts all the time when it suits them, so two can play that game. Bunch of power hungry incompetent rats who can't make it out in the competitive corporate world and instead rob granny's of their few dollars with sad little commercials, while ex-pats abroad play political mind games and treat their employees like slaves. Last time I'll ever donate to them. Slaves! America has a new slavery! Oh, seriously, don't even get me started about that! All American managers should be equipped with a whip and set of drums, because the slavery that goes on...ugh...excuse me while I puke.

Hm, let's see. What else am I angry about? I don't know. How about Thailand trying to act all green, but they waste plastic on the most retarded of objects. Hotdogs? Individually wrapped in plastic. Buy a book. Wrap it in plastic. Buy any kind or size of food? Plastic. Buy plastic bag. Plastic. Thai's treating Burmese beggars like shit instead of being more in tune with Buddha. Not to mention the lawless gangs pressing pimping them for money. The fact that you cannot speak your mind in this country. Believe me, I could say a whole lot worse but then this would be my last posted blog and the Dutch government would have to fish me out of jail. Not that the Dutch really are any better. They are bending over to take new privacy violating policies up the ass from America who is as paranoid about maintaining their corporatocracy (empire run by CEO's) by making everyone else's lives miserable. Ah, prison sounds nice almost. Maybe then I can breathe some fresh air as every ego-blow hard here in Bangkok has to drive a goddamn SUV down streets where bicycles can hardly pass each other. It's all about the size of their ego...and their tiny little sausages.

OK, that's enough. Anger vented. I rant therefor I exist. Now I'm using that anger for my book. Channeling it into a scene where Simon is so fed up with being the recipient of other people's agenda's and starts to fight back. Maybe that's why I'm openly and unrestrictedly angry: as a writer I need to bleed my emotions onto the paper. Don't worry. I have no HIV. I'm just very acidic right now. It runs in my family.